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Unreachable

Pretty butterfly,
that fans the yellow flower
bless me with your touch.





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dreamshaker This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 16, 2012 at 2:30 pm
I'm don't usually care for haikus much, but this was lovely. The last line was perfection.
 
beautifulspirit This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm
It's cool of you to check out some of my work~
 
yellowflower said...
Feb. 20, 2012 at 8:02 pm
I like the use of the word pretty, I probably overuse it too- but theres something about the childlike simplicity of the word "pretty" that conveys exactly what you are saying here!! I really like this poem! I wish I were good at haikus, you say so much, with so little! wow!
 
beautifulspirit This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 21, 2012 at 6:37 am
Thank you very much~ I can't wait to read some of your stuff!
 
snaomi This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 11:14 am
I like this one too, the only thing that I wasn't as in love with was the word "pretty". Is there a more unique way you could describe this particular butterfly?
 
beautifulspirit This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 20, 2012 at 11:17 am
True---I do tire of the overuse of the word "pretty." Unfortunately, I was too preocupied with the rules of the haiku format. Now thinking about it, I could have used "stunning" or something else. Thanks again for commenting~
 
SkyyeTrekk replied...
Feb. 3, 2012 at 2:37 pm
I agree with snaomi, but I do like it :-) You're good at Haikus.
 
beautifulspirit This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Feb. 4, 2012 at 5:00 am
Aww thanks for your comment. It's nice to hear that someone likes your work.
 
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