A Trip Around the Sun

May 10, 2011
By Kelsey_O SILVER, Essex Fells, New Jersey
Kelsey_O SILVER, Essex Fells, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities," JK Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets


A bird sings softly
Light peeks through barren branches
The woods awaken

A mild frost still thaws
The new buds have yet to bloom
Life begins again

Hurried bees rush by
Lively leaves are abundant
A cardinal rests

The Sun goes colder
Rich hues are ubiquitous
The fox sees his breath


The author's comments:
This is a collection of haikus that I submitted to my school's literary magazine. Feedback please!

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This article has 4 comments.


on Jun. 14 2011 at 1:13 pm
Kelsey_O SILVER, Essex Fells, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities," JK Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

thanks for the suggestion :)

on Jun. 14 2011 at 1:12 pm
Kelsey_O SILVER, Essex Fells, New Jersey
7 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities," JK Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Thank you so much! 

on Jun. 14 2011 at 12:41 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1985 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

I think its brilliant!! ^^ Good job!

on Jun. 12 2011 at 6:20 pm
dolphinportkey7 GOLD, D, Other
12 articles 0 photos 65 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good" AND "'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"

Try taking out words like "The" or "A" if possible (I understand the syllable structure can be tricky sometimes), it could make it flow just a bit better.


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