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A Trip Around the Sun

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A bird sings softly
Light peeks through barren branches
The woods awaken

A mild frost still thaws
The new buds have yet to bloom
Life begins again

Hurried bees rush by
Lively leaves are abundant
A cardinal rests

The Sun goes colder
Rich hues are ubiquitous
The fox sees his breath




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off-by-oneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 12:41 pm:
I think its brilliant!! ^^ Good job!
 
Kelsey_OThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 1:12 pm :
Thank you so much! 
 
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dolphinportkey7This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 12, 2011 at 6:20 pm:
Try taking out words like "The" or "A" if possible (I understand the syllable structure can be tricky sometimes), it could make it flow just a bit better.
 
Kelsey_OThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jun. 14, 2011 at 1:13 pm :
thanks for the suggestion :)
 
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