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Exhale

A world bleak and worn
Sighs heavily before sleep
The wind in autumn



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immafarmgirl said...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 10:35 am
this piece very much provokes profound thoughts! Loved it! :D
 
xelawriter97This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 8, 2011 at 9:19 am
I LOVED the first two lines. I'm actually imagining the earth exhaling and it's beautiful. Very creative! :)
 
TheGraeWolf said...
Nov. 15, 2010 at 12:25 pm
I think the first two lines are great, but the third leaves me hanging. You should add to this; three more lines like the first couple would make this wonderful.
 
AshTree said...
Nov. 12, 2010 at 5:57 pm
I like how you use personification. Haikus are some of my favorite poetry because they are short yet powerful if written correctly.
 
Phoenix97 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 10, 2010 at 10:44 am
First off, beautiful imagery. :) "Bleak" is a descriptive and sadly underused word. I love the first two lines, but the third is just okay. I guess I feel like it doesn't live up to the other two.
 
booboo360 said...
Nov. 5, 2010 at 12:49 pm
i absolutely love this masterpiece..... it mans so much right now...im glad ive read it....keep writing
 
Healing_Angel This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Nov. 10, 2010 at 6:56 pm
This is good. Short and sweet. Good job. You should continue this! The last line seems odd and doesn't really fit.
 
immafarmgirl replied...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 10:32 am
what i got from this poem is that each season brings on different stances for the earth, the most obvious to me was that winter was the time for sleeping. So when the earth was preparing itself for slumber it sighed and created the autumn wind
 
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