Summer's Funeral

September 5, 2010
MoonlightRepresentive BRONZE, Riga, Other
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Not all those who wander are lost."
-J.R.R. Tolkien


Ol' Grim dug a grave
For the passed away summer
Leaving no tombstone



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This article has 2 comments.


on Sep. 23 2010 at 8:01 am
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments
*passed. Sorry for the typo. 

on Sep. 23 2010 at 8:00 am
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments

Again, loving the imagery...but the second line seems off. The syllables are fine, but I'm not sure if "For the passes away summer" is the best way to write it. 

I might have written it, "For the late summer, who passed." But that's just me, and since I don't think that grammatically there is anything wrong with the way you've built the line I can't say for sure what's wrong with it.

Four stars :)



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