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Summer's Funeral
September 5, 2010
Ol' Grim dug a grave
For the passed away summer
Leaving no tombstone
© Jenna H., Marblehead, MA
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 2 comments.
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 23 2010 at 8:00 am
Again, loving the imagery...but the second line seems off. The syllables are fine, but I'm not sure if "For the passes away summer" is the best way to write it.
I might have written it, "For the late summer, who passed." But that's just me, and since I don't think that grammatically there is anything wrong with the way you've built the line I can't say for sure what's wrong with it.
Four stars :)
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