Affectionate Darkness

September 5, 2010
MoonlightRepresentive BRONZE, Riga, Other
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"Not all those who wander are lost."
-J.R.R. Tolkien


Your light is darkness
Shining brighter than anything,
In your heart so cold



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This article has 1 comment.


on Sep. 23 2010 at 7:57 am
MayaElyashiv PLATINUM, Ramat Hasharon, Other
37 articles 4 photos 196 comments

Alright, so first off: the second line should have seven syllables. Yours has eight. 

The third line reads awkwardly...I think it should be, "In a heart so cold", because we already know whose heart you are talking about. 

I like the contrast between the descriptions, how the person being described is blindingly dark. 

Perhaps this just wasn't meant to be a haiku...it reads really weirdly. Three stars because I enjoyed the imagery, but the form is off.



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