I wonder...

Right now, I wonder
Why cats don’t do what you want.
Yes, I wonder why.

I often wonder
Why most girls don’t like snakes.
Yes, I wonder why.

I also wonder
why people don’t like math.
Yes, I wonder why.

I really wonder
Why our planet is a sphere.
Yes, I wonder why.

I always wonder
Why people don’t like to read.?
Yes, I wonder why.

Lastly, I wonder
What makes rainbows what they are.
Yes, I truly wonder.

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Whylime said...
Sept. 24, 2010 at 5:12 pm:

i cant really find any probablems... like maybe you could have tied it all together because all the things you wondered about were kinda random. It was like "I really wonder why we eat with spoons, i wonder why. i wonder why, we wear clothes, i wonder why. i wonder why mice like cheese, i wonder why..." you know what i mean. haha it was that random. (: i was just trying to get my point acroos (: haha annnyywayyys, i like the repition. and would you mind reading my "does he know?"

Whylime replied...
Sept. 24, 2010 at 5:14 pm :

oooooops! i meant to say it wasn't that random!! now youre gonna think im a bitter rude person.. ):

horsie_luver replied...
Sept. 24, 2010 at 8:37 pm :

oh no I don't think that was rude, i knew what you meant. Thanks for the advise! I appreciate it! Next time I'll try to make it be more connected.

Whylime replied...
Sept. 24, 2010 at 8:47 pm :

haha good! i didnt want to seem mean... but yeah you can keep everything... but then you doomething like "you know what i reaaallly wonder? i wonder why people arnt like me". so that its like you were describing yourself in the wonder parts.. idk.. just an idea,kinda stupid.. but.. you know.. its an idea (:

horsie_luver replied...
Sept. 24, 2010 at 9:17 pm :

all comments and ideas are helpful comments and ideas! (unless of course they're mean etc.)

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horsie_luver said...
May 12, 2010 at 9:37 am:

Please tell me what I can do to improve!

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Schubster said...
May 7, 2010 at 1:39 pm:

This was my fav. poem by you, though Ode to X was a close second :) I really like the flow here, and I like the repetition A LOT. Keep Writing! and thanks for the comment on my work :)

horsie_luver replied...
May 7, 2010 at 8:58 pm :

Thanks for the support! A bunch of the poems I write and post on here are actually assignments from my Language Arts class at school, but I figured they were good enough to put here as well.