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crystal shinging wings,
butterfiles dance around you,
shimmering waters





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BleedingRose said...
Mar. 16, 2010 at 11:00 am
I liked this, but I think you should add another verse to it. Put more into it, Good job, though. Mind checking out some of my stuff and commenting? Thx!
-Rose
 
Syren replied...
Mar. 17, 2010 at 6:16 pm
thanx but can't add a verse because of the type of poem it is but thats a good idea thou and sure i'll take a look :D
 
BleedingRose replied...
Mar. 17, 2010 at 7:39 pm
I mean you can add another stanza. I know this is a haiku, and it's 5/7/5. But you can make two 5/7/5's, (or more) just space them! I do it all the time, and so do a lot of other people. Just trying to help. :) And thx!
 
Syren This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 9:06 pm
oooohhh cool never thought of that thanx :D
 
BleedingRose replied...
Mar. 27, 2010 at 7:37 pm

no prob!  keep writing, don't b afraid to get creative with it!

-Rose

 
APoetAtHeart said...
Mar. 10, 2010 at 10:19 am
very nice........
 
Syren This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 17, 2010 at 6:18 pm
whats with the .....?? haha and thanx
 
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