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moonlit meadow

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First day of winter
the night is turning colder
the stillness is gone

The little brown fawn
dashed through the glistening meadow
in the moonlit snow.



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writer3499 said...
Aug. 19, 2012 at 9:15 pm
I really like this! It's really peaceful and beautiful...the picture that comes to my mind when I read this poem is clear and lovely.  Would you mind checking out my work if you get a chance...I would really aprreicate some feedback. Thanks! But anyway, this poem is awesome!
 
rimelb said...
Oct. 29, 2009 at 11:00 am
Of the four contributions of yours that I read, this is my favorite. When I read the second part (about the fawn) I felt like I was a silent observer on this scene and I truly felt surrounded by the peace of nature. I wonder what you meant by "the stillness is gone" in your first stanza though. I feel like snow and winter brings on stillness, rather than takes it away.
 
hallsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Oct. 29, 2009 at 3:34 pm
thank you this was also my favorite
 
dia.dreamer replied...
Sept. 12, 2011 at 11:06 am
it sounds magical!! I really liked it, and I would have loved it more if you followed the syllable rule in the second stanza...there are 8 syllables in the second line of the second stanza.. but still awesome job. keep writing! :) and check out my stuff.
 
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