Recipe for Maximizing Senioritis | Teen Ink

Recipe for Maximizing Senioritis

May 24, 2018
By T-Schlett SILVER, Hartland, Wisconsin
T-Schlett SILVER, Hartland, Wisconsin
9 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Ingredients:
1 Shipping container filled with indifference
1 Heaping bonfire for tossing papers
1 Pair of comfortable shoes for kicking your feet up
1 Set of earbuds with the music cranked
1 Handful of easy classes
2 Pencils for doodling

It sounds like someone’s actually trying to put effort into their senior year of high school! What are you crazy? Senior year is the one year where your procrastination and zero effort are tolerated! You’ve already been accepted to college, so what’s the point in trying until college starts? Just follow these simple instructions and you’ll be well on your way to making senior year a breeze:
If you’re going to be serious about making your senior year your most zero-effort year ever, then you’re going to need one shipping container filled with indifference to start. Some people really need to try to not do anything. For others, it’s more or less natural. I think by now you know who you are.
Start by tossing all your school papers into one heaping bonfire. You think you’re going to need those anymore? As if! Where we’re going, we don’t need papers.
Now when you walk into class, you wanna immediately put your feet up on a chair and create a personality that makes others instantly think: Wow, that guy couldn’t care about anything! I can’t wait to see them cleaning the toilets at McDonalds. You should make sure that your shoes are as comfortable as possible to make your lounging last as long as you can.
While you are lounging, make sure that you have earbuds in with your music cranked as loudly as possible. You wanna make sure that every time your teacher attempts to talk to you, it’s more difficult than crossing the alps with a bunch of elephants to go sack Rome. Trust me, that teacher will never want to talk to you again.
Your senior classes should be nice and easy. Nothing that makes you think for too long. So that means no honors or ap classes or any math class higher than algebra. You wanna take as many classes where showing up is most of your grade like gym or art. And make sure your classes allow you to turn in all of your material until the end of the semester so that your procrastination is not only tolerated but accepted.
You’re going to want to bring a couple of pencils to class so that you can doodle while your teacher drones on and on and on. But Tyler, you may ask, If I’ve already burned all of my papers, what should I draw on? Well, my friend, drawing is exactly what your nice blank desk is for! That thing should look like a work of art by the end of the semester.
And next,...wait a minute! I’m writing this in my senior year! Why am I putting this much effort in to this recipe? Well, I might as well end it mid sent...



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