Failing A Class for Beginners | Teen Ink

Failing A Class for Beginners

May 24, 2018
By Beanboy GOLD, Hartland, Wisconsin
Beanboy GOLD, Hartland, Wisconsin
15 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Ingredients:

Two broken pencils
A disorganized notebook
Exciting things going on
Be a senior (Not needed but highly recommended, it makes things easier)
A boatload of excuses
An ‘illness” that your parents will buy
A phone with internet connection

Directions:

Pick the class that you feel is not worth your time
Start small and use your phone and browse the amazing world of the internet.
When the teacher starts fuming for not paying attention in class you are set.
The first thing you want to do after the confrontation put your phone away WITH SOME SAS. (Don’t overdo it but attempt to make everyone in the class see)
Take out your two broken and disorganized notebook to “take notes”.
Take as much time when the teacher is talking to sharpen your pencils.
Repeat steps one through six for the rest of the semester.
As time goes on take note of when the test and quizzes and each night a test or quiz before tell your mom or dad “I feel horrible I’m not sure what it is. I’ll just try to sleep it off” When doing this go to bed much earlier than usual.
When waking up take warm water from the sink and rub a small amount on your forehead.
Wait in bed until your parents check on you and let them feel your forehead they will then call you into school.
The day after your day off attempt to schedule a remake for the test. However always make sure that you have very important plans and cannot retake the test that week.
After 2 weeks these should go in as zeros and will drop your grade significantly.
Pepper your parents lightly with how awful the class is and how the teacher hates you. This will lessen the shock to your parents when they see the almighty F.
Lastly when the final exam comes make sure to ask the teacher what you need for an A. This will agitate them put them on their last nerves.
The night before the final exam don’t charge your phone and sleep in. Your parents will most likely wake you up just in time to see that there is no more time to take the exam.
Lastly, email the teacher and tell them you want a retake for the exam. (At this point most teachers will say no. However, some do have hope so if worst comes to worst take the exam by answering C for all questions.)



Similar Articles

JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 0 comments.



Smith Summer

Parkland Speaks

Campus Compare