Fake Smiles

May 2, 2018
By Anonymous

The class is quiet, and we're waiting for the bell call,
And when it rings, hundreds of students fill the hall
People running, walking, talking with their friends,
I just can't wait for the day to end...
Eyes scan the hallways, what do they see?
A crowd of 'praised and popular' people looking’ at me.
They're wearing short skirts, show-shirts, and fake grins,
And everybody there looks at me...
Like I'm a sin.
I wear hoodies, sweaters, torn jeans, and old shoes,
My hair is ruffled, skin is pale, eyes are dull and blue.
Why are they laughing at me, what did I ever do?..
I guess I'm just too poor,
to fit in with their crew…

I keep on walking, and I reach another group of kids,
they're wearing jerseys, shorts, tennis shoes and fake grins.
I stop in front of them and wave, and wait for a reply,
but all I get are smirks from the cheerleaders passing by.
I'm not athletic, I can barely even stand up straight,
But no-one knows that I can't help it that I can't keep pace,
when I'm in gym, even shorter kids can pass me by,
I have a spine disease, but no one cared to ask me why.

I continue down the hall, and bump into a group of kids,
they're holding pencils, pens, paper pads and fake grins.
These are the smarter kids, they made the honors class,
And every one of them snickers as I walk past.
They know I have a D in algebra, and this is why....
I have ADD, but I do my best to try.
I study every night, and I stay up late to work
I haven't slept right in a week, my mind’s going berserk.
I know I overwork myself, but there's no other way,
Cuz every time I plead for help, my classmates turn away.

I keep on walking down the hall, almost to the end,
I think, "Why am I still trying so hard to fit in?"
"I haven't made any friends, and I'm always ignored,"
"This whole 'trying' thing is more than I had bargained for.."

Another smaller group of people stand right outside a door,
They're laughing, smiling, cracking jokes then laughing more,
Other kids walk by them, all they get are cold shoulders,
But the rejection didn't seem to make em any colder,
They kept on joking, even as they got destructive stares,
they kept enjoying life, living it without a care,
As I got a closer look, I could finally see,
Why they were different.
And why they were just like me.

One of the boys in the group was really standing out,
wearing a black and gray jacket, and laughing out loud,
He didn't care about the stares,
He didn't care about the hate,
He only cared about his friends, and that his life was great

There were two girls who were drawing and smiling along,
When others walked by..
"Hah!! Your art looks like it was stepped on!!"
They were ridiculed and insulted from left and right,
but they seemed to drown it out....

The fact that one of their friends was being torn to shreds,
The jocks had him on the floor, kicked and hit him till he bled,
The boy kept trying to stand, he just got punched again,
I saw the bruises on his body and the blood on his chin.
The other kids tried to help, but the jocks stood strong,
“Run on back home, it’s where you belong.”

I couldn't take it, couldn't fake the pain I felt for him,
I wasn’t sure if I should walk away or try to stand up for him,
What was this feeling that I felt, coursing through my veins
And I couldn't stop it, but I knew how to ease the pain
I wasn't thinking, wasn't blinking, wasn't aware of nothing else....
Only the poor boys eyes crying out to me for help
I've been an outcast all my life….I know just how they felt.

It was a blur, and I wasn't sure,
If I hit or missed,
or if they grabbed my fist,
But I could hear a loud yell, ringing in my ears,
I opened my eyes and I saw my worst fear.

The jocks towered over me,
My legs trembled, I fell to my knees,
I started praying, "Lord have mercy on me,'
"I just wanted to help someone in need..."
Then the jocks went back, and fell to the floor,
The kids pushed them down, they couldn’t watch anymore,
And I watched in awe as the boy that got beat before,
Held his hand out to me and said,
"You’re not alone anymore."

So this is what it's like to have friends...
Now that I have a group of them, the hurting will end,
I won't roam the halls alone between classes anymore...
So I guess that’s what kindness is for...
And there is one more thing I forgot to mention,
If you want more friends, this should be your intention,
All those other kids, they had happiness in denial,
Don't be like them, be like us,
Bear a real smile.

The author's comments:

I've been bullied all my life, and I understand what others are going through. I hate seeing it happen to others. And some people wear masks, and they act like someone that they're not because they may be also going through something.. It's just so hard to put this poem into words, so, here we go! :) ( picture is not mine)

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