often faced with uncertainty,
i fear the unknown.
tirelessly i sow the seeds of unbounded mysteries,
irked from the roots of an eternal insanity.

they tell me i have nothing to lose
  "do not be afraid of what you cannot see."
but as a yellow boy,
i lack the courage to face
the shadows.

i was a young boy -
thick, unkempt asian hair.
and soft, squishy cheeks
that my grandma would fill: dumplings, noodles, rice, pork.

TALL and pubescent,
his voice is deep,
far from my natural genetics.
  "play with us."
   so nonchalant, so careless.

a little boy falls and
gets hit by the ball.
his gentle face roughed in the concrete.
the pressure of my peers,
temptation from the slights.

so

i pick up the ball from the
wet, trimmed grass:
it is slippery and moist,
the stench of teenage rebellion.
slap, slap of the pavement,
my discount shoes struggling for distance,
distance from the size 12 shoes that follow not far
behind.
swoosh.
the slippery and moist ball bounces
on the dusty black ground.

his eyes are surprised -
not angry
at the little yellow boy who claimed victory
in a game of basketball.
  "we should play more often."