A Day in the Life

May 1, 2018
By LindenTheTree SILVER, Somerville, Massachusetts
LindenTheTree SILVER, Somerville, Massachusetts
7 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Real G's move in silence like lasagna." - Lil' Wayne


Alarm ringing, bright blue, peace is fleeting.
Groggy face, headache, morning's beating.
Water falls, blending in, hot blood, hot tears.
Curtain open, face the world, living's fears.
Mirror me
My eyes open under the cold blast of a fresh start.
Fresh wounds
Vulnerable again
I built up scar tissue yesterday
And today’s tissues cannot blot away
Hot blood, hot tears.
The paper of my skin, though thin,
Does its duty
It flakes and secretes,
But it only takes the shape it has
I don’t think my skeleton is the problem
Could be better
Could be worse
Brain?
I am my brain
My brain can’t be wrong
My brain is strong
I am strong
Until I look down.
It’s in the flesh.
The flesh.
It is where it is and it isn’t where it isn’t
This isn’t me
I am not this
Who is this
I am asking to speak to the owner of this vessel
I am sent to voicemail
Voice
Mail
Fe
Male
I can’t breathe
But it’s not me that can’t breathe
It’s these lungs
Who gave me these lungs
They aren’t mine
Someone come get your lungs
They can’t breathe
Someone stole mine
I can’t breathe.
My heart is not my heart
Beating me up
Today
Today
Pain
You die
She dies
They die
We die
I die
I can’t die.
This flesh can
Yes
This flesh will rot
And I will not.
Brain
I am my brain
That’s where the words come from
I fight the body
But she is stronger than I am
She is more muscular than I am
She stifles me
Her existence breaks me
No
I rise above
I will break her
And it hurts
This flesh is soft
Who let her in
Not flame resistant
Doesn’t like boiling water
Can’t handle cuts
Can’t handle pills
Too bad
I win.


The author's comments:

This poem was inspired by a bout of dysphoria. It is pretty much stream-of-consciousness. For context, I am female and trans.


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