Do I Know God

April 12, 2018
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God-- an all knowing power
A person or a being or a father
I’ve always struggled believing in such things
As someone looking out for me
Find your rock, they said
As the waters weather it in my head
The storm, a raging hurricane
And all i see is red.
They talk about a man named Jesus
Who cured the blind and sick
He was a miracle worker, the son of God
A man who could calm the storm.
I sought him out through the books
I imagined him as I did God--
Omnipotent, and serious
Could he be just a man,
Long hair back in a bun,
Hands with scars to show the mortal life he lived among us,
Talking to the liars and prostitutes?
Conversing with the beggars and thieves?
I never found him,
at least in the way they said I should.
I never found God in the way they said I should.
Is God a man, or a feeling?
Or maybe just a hope?

I found God in myself.
Call me blasphemous, sacreligious
God is in me, and around me
God is in the trees and the sky
In the dirt, in everything I see
I believe that God must be different for everyone,
To suit their needs.
I see God in the way I have a gift for drawing
Or putting words on paper
I found God in the rise and fall
Of the chest of my sleeping dog
I see God in the hint of a smile or a laugh
Sometimes in the promise of tears.
I found God when I began to believe
That there was more to life than impressing a man in the sky
I found God in the sunrise--
Not the physical act of the sun rising above the mountains,
But in that hope that it would rise.
I found God when I told myself
I didn’t need to find God to be complete.
Is God a man, or a feeling?
Or maybe just a hope?

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