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Up and Down
Up and down….
I keep seeing your chest go up and down,
But I know that is what my mind and heart wants to see,
Your brown skin slowly going pale,
I failed to see you one last time,
I’ll climb any mountain just get one more hug,
Now it’s like a rope tugging on my heart,
Knowing you are gone for good,
It’s like a part of me has disappeared with you,
My mind is not clear,
How you’re gone so fast,
The tears I’ve cried,
Can make a puddle,
I can see myself struggling to catch a breath,
I lied to myself saying that it was okay,
I sighed knowing it will never be,
I can’t fulfil the hole you left inside of me,
When you died,
You took the piece of my heart with you,
Up and down,
In and out,
That’s what I wished your chest did,
When I saw you,
But…
Up and down will never be there anymore,
And so will you.
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I wrote this poem for my grandmother who recently passed. Poetry has always been a way where I could say what I'm thinking or feeling without saying it. I had so many emotion inside me, so I wrote this poem to get everything I want to say out. I have experienced so many family members passing and I never got out what I needed to say out. I always tried to find a poem that understands what I feel when I go through something like this, but I could never find one. So I decided to write my own because everyone experienced lost differently and I wanted to my version to be out there. I hope who experienced loss closely to me will feel like they can connect to this.