They say they love me, but do they really? Do they really care as much as they say they do? Do their words mean anything? People say actions speak louder than words, but all I hear are powerful words coming out of their mouths. Am I not as significant in these equations? Why am I always stuck in Calypso’s spot? As a matter of fact, I believe my name should be changed to Calypso. Is it so difficult to find someone who loves me? Am I really that appalling that they cannot think of me as their first choice? I try everyday, I try to be what they want. Now, I've given up but they have other problems with me. "You're so lazy, you don't do anything! All you do is sit there!" They say. But what can I do if all I can think about is how my world is falling apart and I can't even tell anyone. I've given up everything; swimming, art, singing for pleasure. All I wanted was someone to care for me, but instead, I lost everything I ever had, including myself. At the moment, all I can do is try to hold back the tears and not show anyone my true feelings. Turns out, it's better that way for others.
I lost myself
April 6, 2018