Masked

March 29, 2018
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Waves crash into the shore
Like my thoughts hitting  my lips
But I hold back
Choking on my own words, burning the back of my throat, pins and needles in my tongue
Because these bottled up emotions
Have been brewing
For more than a couple of days
They’ve been fermenting for years
Soaking into my skin like a poison that won’t wash away
My skin is scarred by all the knives perfectly placed into my back
By people who I gave too much to
“Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice can’t put the blame on you”
Rings through my ears, but never reaches my brain stems, to crawl into my wavelengths
I guess you could say I keep my heart on my sleeve
It’s easier to care for others, then it is to cleanse yourself
For I am a sinner and I wear the mask of a saint
But you won’t find me in any church pews
I let my prayers go out on the highway, wide open, full throttle
I baptize myself with my foot on the pedal, and deafen myself with the psalms of rap
Because when everyone leaves, the only thing I have left is this pain
People say I’m crazy to hold onto something so toxic
But the pain has always stayed no matter what
So I bathe in the darkness






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