Why did you do it?
Why did you slash your way through life hurting what was suppose to heal you?
You made it so no one could save you.
You tried to find the rest of the puzzle made of you in that dark empty room, with the smell of you lingering.
Every time someone opened that door the scent filled up more until it was no longer possible to breathe clean air.
But you could never get clean could you?
You could only exhale poison into the atmosphere and each time you inhaled you let out a deep sigh.
And each molecule of oxygen read the words of each feeling you had crept inside of you.
There must have been a chemical imbalance in your brain that made you complain about every moment given to you.
But instead of finding a happy place you escaped by being your own scientist.
Mixing chemicals and substances trying to find the right reaction.
Well guess what?
You are not Bill Nye.
You can’t practice experiments on yourself and hope they turn out well.
Because when you do that, you ruin the parts of you that simply make you, you.
You try to look for ways for love to not surround you.
All we did was try to love you.
All we did was give you chances that you took for granted, because you knew we weren’t going anywhere.
And night after night as your chemical reaction spilled out of you, we tried to clean you and the damage you had done.
When the day came, you stopped trying to be the scientist.
You checked yourself into the walls of a psych ward as if you were a cell wall inside of an organism not letting the bad things run through your veins.
We watched you suffer.
And when you suffered, we suffered with you.
All your variables were slowly breaking down, and you couldn’t do anything except contribute to the hearts you broke.
And now
We are stuck with you.
The same way you are stuck with you.
So who is going to be the scientist now?