Dear Dad,
I never thought that it would bother me
That I didn’t have a father
I figured you would come and see me
When you did there were no hugs there were just apologies
I didn’t want it I just wanted time with you and me
Tell me why did you leave
Do you not love me anymore? see I can hide all my pain
What remains are my scars
I gave you all that I had more love than I could afford
I cry alone at night thinking of what i could do to make you come back
Only to realize that you wont
It hurts so much to know I’ll never have a father
I can’t even be mad though
You guys didn’t even want me
You and mother both told me so
Once upon a time
Dad you left this boy
You made me and threw me away like I was a toy
I just want you to know that I never thought ill of you
Not once have I said I hate you
Never asked where you’ve been
Just where glad you were here
I was grateful for your smile
It would bring me joy for the next few years where I wouldn’t see you
Do you know how hard it is to live without a father?
Do you know how bad it is to not have a male figure to look up to?
So when you look up to a female they get mad at you for
Knowing what hairstyle fits their face
Knowing the perfect pair of high heels that go with that crop top
Knowing that your foundation is a little too light
I’ve been around women for so long I don’t know how a "real man" would act
All I could think of was leave and never come back
I remember the day you forgot my birthday
Oh and do you remember Christmas
The day you bought presents for all your other children presents
While I was stuck under a tree looking for a present that wasnt there
There was only a broken ornament
And yet I still don’t hate you
In fact I love you with all my heart but this heart is breaking from all the pain
Aching every single day
Please come back so my pain can go away
there can finally be light
I can truthfully say ”I'm alright”
Dad please I need you in my life
Help me with my battle
Help me with this fight