I’m terrified of being alone

Yet when I’m lonely

my thoughts

Engulf my mind

Like a bell jar

Keeping in the dark fog of

Disappointment and worry

When I’m lonely

I shut myself out

I isolate myself in a box of self pity yet

I’m never truly alone though

My thoughts keep me company

Reminding me of all the things

I wish I had done

And keeping tabs on the dark times

Bringing them to my

immediate disposal

My mind is my best friend

But more commonly my

worst enemy

Loneliness is the over whelming feeling of confinement

When I can’t escape the party of depression my brain had me host

When my mind locks the door and pulls down the drapes

Leaving me in the darkness

Magnifying the feeling of helplessness

Feeling as though there is no one to speak my words to

When in reality the key on my voice box is locked

Because I’ve been told by a guest that my voice isn’t worth hearing

And that loneliness is like disappearing in a crowd of the unwanted.

My mind is black

And won’t let in the light

until someone else comes along

And opens the door.