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Mom, won't you please listen?
Why?
Anxiety keeps me
locked away
in my own home
like i am some sort of
secret
Why?
Is it so hard to
get out of bed some days
afraid of failing before
I even have the chance
To Try
Why?
Do I live in days
sometimes darker than
my pupils
which allow me to
see the things
that scare me &
make me feel like I am
alone
Why?
Am I not afraid of the dark
yet afraid of people seeing the parts of me
I do not want to see
breathe....
Why?
I make plans because I know
I should;
I know anxiety cannot be
my only friend for
any longer
Why?
Mom says, " You should go to the party,
i'm sure your friends want to see you!"
Mom, anxiety is the party,
only it is a party
I do not want
to attend
Why?
I find myself unable to sleep
most nights,
mom says, " Try closing your eyes."
Yet,
whenever I close my eyes
I see the fossil of my room
The emptiness of my rib cage
My sheets constricting around my
Frangible body
Asphyxiation
A lesser evil
My mind an inky darkness
no white-out can overcome
Why?
I feel as if I walk on eggshells
sharp as the knives that have been
stabbed into my back &
as crushing as the memories
that crowd my mind
Mom, won't you please listen to me?
Why?
My happiness is a fever
soon to break,
mom says I am so good at making
a mountain out of a molehill
then asks me
if I am just sad.
No mom
I am lonely
My depression is the dim light
in my closet
Wrapping itself around me
In a warm hug
Whispering that everything
Will be okay
And it has this romantic way
Of making my dreary room
And my
Creaking floors
feel like the
Perfect company
Why?
The empty corridors of my chest
hums with the thumping
of my heartbeat
reminding me that
I am alive
yet, feeling like a tourist
in my own body
Why?
Mom still does not understand
what is happening
but mom,
can't you see?
Neither do I.
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This was originally a spoken word poem assignment for English class that I fixed up. I hope people can get a sense of relief from this, knowing that others are fighting the same battles. You are NOT alone.