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forgiveness
as the tears pour from my eyes
i realize how you hurt me without a thought of how it would affect us
or how long the scars would last
as i wipe away the tears
i realize how i never crossed your mind when you hurt me the way you did
and how my feelings were subsequent to your desires
you ask me for my forgiveness
you ask me to forget
you ask me to trust you
but i am not sure if i am capable of those things
because the way you hurt me hit like a train
i was incapable of
moving
speaking
breathing
thinking
i try to forget
i try to trust you
and most of all,
i try to forgive you
however,
these things…
they don’t come easy.
they take time
and i am afraid it is time i do not have
to waste on someone who hurt me so terribly
i am afraid it is time i do not have
to forget the mistakes you made
i am afraid it is time i do not have
to learn to trust you again
but i am certain
that it is time i can learn to grow
and forgive
because everything always comes back to you
circles
crawls
creeps
itches
its way back to you…
so how could i forget you, when you are always on my mind?
and as you get on your knees
and cry for my forgiveness
please know that you damaged my heart
beyond compare
and perhaps…
beyond repair
but i believe in forgiveness like i believe in
the oceans, seas, and rivers that surround us
like the stars, planets, and galaxies we find ourselves getting lost in
so know that this is your second chance
a chance for you to prove that you are sorry
a chance for you to learn from your mistakes
…
not repeat them

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feelings after a heartbreak