The Feeling

February 8, 2018
By Ogracew BRONZE, East Kingston, New Hampshire
Ogracew BRONZE, East Kingston, New Hampshire
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I wasn't the only kid who grew up this way.

Cried when I got onto planes.
Refused to go on roller coasters where the drop makes your stomach squeal.
Whose palms would sweat anytime I met a new person,
or made a risky bet.

Although I haven’t always been this way
i've had this feeling.
For as long as I can remember.

Like when I was four
and in the hospital being poked and prodded for weeks.
Or when I was twelve
and on a plane when it dropped one thousand feet.
After all these years it has grown
by bit
by bit.

Engulfing my moods all into one.

Like when I get on an elevator and press seven,
Or when I watch the news and it talks about the nuclear wars with North Korea.
Or is it South?

The Feeling.
It’s definition which makes most situations difficult and
makes my emotions wriggle around like a worm so I don't’ know whether to cry,
or yell,
or even laugh.

Not many people understand the agony to feel like this day after day,
and it’s worse thinking you are letting people down by not going on that roller coaster.
Or taking the stairs instead of pressing seven.
And not doing things the “right way”.
Only the other kids who grew up like me
understand what it's like to be
this way.

The author's comments:

For a long time I have had anxiety and its become worse as I have gotten older. I wrote this piece to get my feelings out reguarding it and just to talk about what it's like feeling worried all the time. I hope people will understand more what its like and not judge why kids may be nerveous to do certain things that other childern may not be nerveous to do.

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