Home of a Man | Teen Ink

Home of a Man

February 5, 2018
By Kittensp BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
Kittensp BRONZE, Glendale, Arizona
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best" -maryline monroe


The window opens for all that can see
Though it is clear, nobody can see me.
My space, my presence, unknown
Wondering when i'll find home.

A place for me to be free
Free from criticism, free from pain
Free from yelling, or being called those names, that hurt me..
Free from the temptation to cause myself pain
That not even i could gain from
Somewhere where i can gain love.

A place where i can be wanted and heard,
A place where i don't feel like a caged bird.
A bird who is beautiful
But touched by tainted human hands,
Kicked from the family nest
Forced to learn alone, going west
Searching for something of its own.

Breathing toxic air that taints and destroys my lungs,
Forcing silence upon my tongue.
My heart screaming “Help”
Screaming things it loves
Trying to be truthful in all but afraid of another fall.
Another crack, stab in the chest
Causing it to shatter
Losing all the pieces in the lather,
The lather that forms deeper, and continues to grow.
My soul, my heart being swallowed forced to fall.

Where is this place created to free my being,
This place that is thriving with the call to become more
Where being alive is a wondrous joy,
Instead of a hated toy…
Playing with my life, and emotions like building blocks
Creating beauty within.
But forced to build a wall to cage it in,
So no man can come and break once again…
What once was truly a gift.

Tearing down the things that make me who i am
Hiding the pieces that i have left,
Forced to suppress the being of truth and opinion,
Oppressing my only willing
To love, to care, to want more,
But i am content with my depression
That silently is taking over all i am,
Making me a tired lone “man”

“Man” as a human i am
A creature only known to destroy
Instead of nurture.
A woman in which a term i’ll be
Known to create and love
Horrib beings.
But also a destroyer.

From the man that comes from the womb
They create the earth's doom.
Not asked or given a choice whether or not to live,
It aspires and grows.
I want to find my home,
Where instead of wishing to be alone
I can flourish and grow, and be grateful of my birth
Into this dark world

A world so tired and only wanting a break
From the force of its destruction.
What if we destroy it,
It would be the representation of depression,
Taking something that once was beautiful,
And turn it into nothing but gas and ruin,
Tainted air in which we are breathing and expelling
From our dirty mouths,
In which we use to hurt.

That's the worst part,
We use such an amazing gift to speak,
To destroy other beings,
In which only want to live and smile
Not wither like a rose buried under ashes of
Something that once was
A gift, a blessing.. Abused after a while.

“Find comfort” i’ll continue to tell myself,
Find The place to be what you’ve wanted for so long.
Not needing wealth, but only a song expressing your
Words hidden for the time all along.
Find home.
You’ll find home,
And once your there you’ll know
What true happiness is, it will be a great wonderful bliss…

So go to it,
And be your being, a human who is worth saving
Home is your believing.


The author's comments:

I came home, from an anxiety filled day at school, and got yelled at and accused of something i was not attempting. i needed somethign to help me cope with my anxiety so i began to write...


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