To Love Without Being Loved

February 2, 2018
By GraceHoblock BRONZE, Schuylerville, New York
GraceHoblock BRONZE, Schuylerville, New York
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

You cast me under your spell
With your kind eyes
And mischievous grin
I trusted every word you said
I was helpless
Caught up in the moment
A whirlwind summer romance that brewed faster than a storm
Spinning me around
And around
And around
Until I am drunk on love
And high on the thought of you
You were the first thing to come into my mind every morning
And the last thing I thought of as I drifted into sleep
When fall came and school started once again
I thought things would be different
I thought you would notice me now
I thought wrong
Entering the crowded hallways my eyes only searched for yours
But your eyes would often wander…
To other girls
Girls who were prettier,
Smarter,
And thinner
Than I would ever be
Girls who I began to loathe because they had what I wanted
They had you
That summer I trusted you
I gave you things I can never take back
Told you secrets I had never told anyone before
And gave you something more fragile than glass
My heart
I tried to play it off
Acted as if it didn’t hurt me
I made excuse
After excuse
After excuse
For why you didn't text me back
Or why you would open my snapchats and not respond
Once I stopped drowning in the river of denial
I realized the truth
You played me
And you played me well
Played me like a puppet master plays with his puppets
Carefully and meticulously planning every movement
To happen at just the right time
So that I would fall in love with you
And you could get what you wanted
Leaving me broken,
Bruised,
And driving me to drink at the sound of your name
Drinking so much I forgot my own name
Unable to trust any other boy with kind eyes
And a mischievous grin ever again
You never taught me what it felt like to be loved
Only how to love and never be loved in return



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