Dear Future Self

February 5, 2018
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I don't know where you are.

You might be at home, at church, or alone ina. bar.

 

Regardless, I am glad you prevailed,

I hope you enjoyed life and all it entailed.

 

Did you ever meet a man?

Did he make you feel free?

Did your heart explode when

he got on one knee?

 

Were your days fulfilling,

your passions vast?

Were you conspicuous and 

never bypassed?

 

Anyways, I hope that you 

made it.

I hope your colors shine brightly

and are never faded.

 

Do you sometimes still

have nightmares in bed?

You wake up wishing for

a gun to your head -

 

nevermined. Happy thoughts.

Remember that time you 

tie-dyed some socks?

 

You wore them everywehre,

like blood to a vein

in hopes the rainbow would

soak from your feet to your brain.

 

Those were the days -

so young and naive

Why would anyone ever 

start to believe

 

that happiness sprouted 

straight from the trees

do you ever wish you could 

go back and freeze

 

the moments of sleeping

out on the beach

tied up with a boy

under sandy sheets

 

or getting dressed up,

pretending you're grown

going out with friends

just to come back alone -

 

do you miss it?

was life a round trip flight but you bought a 

one-way ticket?

 

or are you content?

do you travel the world or can you

barely pay rent?

do you regret the ways of 

time you've spent?

Is your soul still pure 

or do you repent?

 

I need to know.

because if these are the 

best years of my life

then I'm ready to go.

 

How can I live 

with nothing to anticipate

and how can I do 

more than participate

 

please answer me, self,

you've got to articulate

I can't keep my hope

with no sign of my fate.

 

just tell me you're happy

with what you've become

tell me you were an 

inspiration to some

 

tell me you pushed through

the bad days, months, and years -

tell me you finally faced

all your fears.

 

tell me you sang

all the songs to be sung,

tell me that, yes, you miss

being young.

 

But not in a sad, regretful

kind of way,

but because it shaped you into 

who you are today. 






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