Time Machine

I want to be an adult.
4 years to go.
I want to be a kid again,
But all that requires
A time machine.

Why do I want to grow up?
I’m done with middle school drama:
Skinny girls who think they’re fat,
Pretty girls who want to change themselves.
I want to be alone, away from everyone.

Why do I want to be a kid again?
I want to be able to cry because I lost my favorite stuffed animal.
I want to sleep all day and refuse to take naps.
I want to be learning the alphabet instead of multiplying scientific notation.

I want to be able to do stupid things and have little consequences.

I need a time machine.
But why would I want things that can not be taken back or received?
I want to grow up but not have responsibilities.
I want to be a kid and an adult all at once.
But that will never happen.

I will get older and have kids of my own
And I will make memories with them that remind me of my childhood,
But that is all in the future.
The past is behind me.
Why do I want to go forward and backwards at the same time?

I don’t know.
I am thirteen years old, going on fourteen
And have yet to know how to act like an adult.
I know how act like a child but I don’t want to.
I want to be done with my teenage years and have the responsibilities of a kid.
But that will never happen,
Because time machines don’t exist.