Brokeness | Teen Ink


January 29, 2018
By FireChicken PLATINUM, San Marcos, California
FireChicken PLATINUM, San Marcos, California
30 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one." -Bruce Lee.

People are always saying,
That I’m a rose,
Perfect. Beautiful.
    They’re always telling me,
That I’m good at
When I’m clearly
People always say that words,
Don’t hurt.
  But if that’s true,
Then compliments are,
I’m always being told that,
    I’m brave.
       I’m strong.
           I’m smart.
               I’m athletic.
                  I’m artistic.
  Am I the only one who,
          Can’t see it?
I mean I do,
I understand where they see it,
I’m also made of thorns,
   I guess I’m good at,
      Hiding them.
That doesn’t mean they’re
I can always fake a smile,
But I can’t fake my feelings.
Sometimes I wish,
That people would notice,
   How BROKEN I am,
For them to realize that,
   I’m not perfect,
     I’m not good at
I’m just me,
Stupid, geeky, weird, ol’ me,
    I’m not the Tattianna,
    That’s able to juggle,
    School, karate, and clubs,
    All the while maintaining family relationships,  
    And keeping myself grounded.
In truth,
I’m only a kite,
   I’m pushed around easily,
   I have my highs, and
Sometimes I want to just give up,
Sometimes I scream into my pillow,
Sometimes I write depressing poetry,
A lot of times I write depressing poetry,
     I feel like that other version of me,
The one that I try my best to project,
     I like a bar I know I can never,
    Everyone expects me to be that girl,
    And it only makes me feel WORSE,
Because I know,
That I could never,
I could never reach that standard
   That I had set,
       That my parents set,
           That society set.
I’m just the girl that I am,
Always wearing a mask,
          Always doing my act,
Smiling and laughing,
When I’m crying on the inside,
      I’m praying for the storm to stop,
For the clouds to part,
    Warming me to the bone with,
The storm still rages,
        Winds pin me down,
           Yelling in my ear,
      All that is wrong,
And here I am,
   Holding back a flood,
Keeping all of that pent up,
Locked away in my heart,
As a war wages,
      Day in and day out,
I feel the march thumping in my heart,
      I feel each jab,
Each hit,
As my feelings shred each other apart,
Once family,
Now foe,
Warring against each other,
   As waves pound me against,
As the sea churns to push me,
I grapple with the sea,
           The rocks my friends,
       Cuz as long as I feel the shore,
No matter how jagged and sharp,
I know that I am,

The author's comments:

Well then, this piece is quite depressing... But it is what I am feeling right now at the moment. I don't know, maybe its just puberty and stuff, but I've been getting so many compliments lately it makes me feel bad almost, because I know that the Tattianna they are complimenting is the one I try to be, but I don't know if I can be her 24/7 if that makes sense. Ahhh, well this is just a poem to let out my feelings and such. Hope you fellow reader enjoy. 

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