Today was a bad day

February 2, 2018
By , Mukilteo, WA

I’m tired and confused I
tried my best I swear
it I
honestly
just don’t
know what to do anymore
but it’s not like I knew what to do in
the first place I haven’t
really slept
in so long and I can’t remember what
it felt like to float
it’s really been so long
that I think I dreamed
all of the good things
I’ve tried everything I’ve talked
about it I’ve begged for it
I’ve cried over it I’ve
fought for
it I’ve
written
about it I’ve
done everything short
of dying for it
please please please I’ll pray
to a God I’ve never
even felt before if it
means I’ll be able to
make something of myself I’m
sick I’m tired I’m finished
with pouring my
heart out and ripping my insides
into shreds and crunching my brain until it’s
oatmeal and
exposing my deepest insecurities
and just having
people like you tell me
it’s not worth your time it’s
bad it’s
not enough and I just
want some sort
of substantive
validation I promise
I’m not mad
or depressed
or anything I’m just
tired and confused
I want to stop working so bad
but if I do then I’ll be wasting
time and I already
don’t have
enough please, oh please
just let me
be ok because
I really
just don’t
know what’s good and what’s bad
anymore because
when people fall
down they
don’t know which side is up
anymore
and it’s not like the
straw that breaks the camel’s back
because I’m not under a pile of straw I’m under
a f***ing hydraulic press
can someone just tell me that I’m worth something please I think that’s all I need






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