My Love, You’ll never know | Teen Ink

My Love, You’ll never know

February 1, 2018
By TyannaMarino BRONZE, Schuyler, Nebraska
TyannaMarino BRONZE, Schuyler, Nebraska
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I turn to bing shows that will somehow erase your memories but instead I find shows we use to watch and cuddle to -I miss you

When you left I wondered how I would ever be okay, I look now and all I can find is people who remind me of you

There's so much I want to say, just no one to listen to me.

When I think of love, I can only see you and everything that happened

I'm sorry I wasn't enough

I heard your name and all I could think about was how we use to joke around about getting married

I smile when you talk to me because if I opened my mouth, you would know the pain

I haven't been able to focus, I've lost all care

I might have just been a small thing to you, but you were my world

Knowing I hurt you is what kills me

Giving you back your stuff hurts, it's all I had left.

I miss you, I hope you come back.

I know I messed up badly but baby I was trying to fix myself for you

Writing like I'm going to die tomorrow, I want you to know how I feel

I want to kiss you and tell you we'll be okay

Losing my friends didn't effect me, losing you, I lost everything I knew

I tried to move on,  but my heart wants me to hold on

I pray to god that one day we meet again.

We were suppose to make it, so what happened?

I'll be okay one day, but I'd rather be okay with you.

So much we left out, so much we wanted to do

It was the world against us, when did it turn into you and the world against me?

We're both hurt and neither of us wants to change that.

Maybe us being stubborn was our fault

You were one of a kind, but somehow I find you in everything

Do you know how much I'm hurting?

I'll always regret that day

I heard our song the other day, I tried to smile, but I could only feel the tears hit my cheek

I'm so cold and only you can warm me

I wish I still had our baby, maybe then you would've stayed

I act okay during the day, but when I'm alone I break, I have no one.

I miss you so much.

I'm sorry I broke you.

Almost...

All the notifications I get and I keep hoping it'll be from you

I think of all the stuff I asked from you and I realize that I don't want any of it, i just want you

I know you're done and I wish I could change it.

I would apologize so much, I'd try to fix it but how can I fix it when you won't listen

I want you to talk to me, I want to be something

I'm sorry for everything

I wasn't the person I should've been, you deserved better

They say being single is great but I just want you

Maybe I'm just that stupid.

Maybe it was always me, I was the problem

My world was on fire and now I'm nothing but a burnt world

 Funny how in Chemistry they call this the broken heart m/v equation, all I see is the heart you left behind when you said you couldn't take it

Maybe I should've hugged you that day, maybe I wouldn't be in this mess

I tried so hard to be perfect for you, I guess it wasn't enough

I miss you more than you'll ever know

Why is it then when I'm losing everything I still want you

You left this fire in me, if I can't control it I'll burn

Honestly I don't know if I'd go back to you, I love you but my heart isn't ready for the pain again

Maybe if I die, you'd finally listen to my pain

I never thought I'd get this bad again, but here I am, ready to die and a blade to my wrist more times than I can count.

People say I'm the one who shouldn't let this effect me, but if only they knew the amount of hate I get they wouldn't question it

I miss you so much, my heart hurts so much and I never know what to do

They say I'm better without you and that you're a horrible person, I have to agree but no matter what I just keep thinking how you were meant for me

I hope I cross your mind as much as you cross mine

I texted a support line, it's gotten that bad

Wanting to ask you for a second chance but not having the words to say

I miss you a lot

We joke around and talk but somehow our words aren't being said

We ignore what we need to say

Maybe you mean more to me than I'll ever mean to you

You were my soulmate but I guess I'm not yours

I want to show you all I write but I just can't bring me to show you

With you, I'm stuck between waiting for fate to bring us together and if you want something go for it

When I went to the hospital I hoped you would say something, but you didn't and that's when I realized I was truly alone

You talk to these girls and I get jealous but swallowing my pride for you is so hard

I make myself invisible but in reality I want you to see me

I'm a dumb person for hoping I'll have a second chance but it's all I can hope for

I pray for our love but maybe I'm just watering a dead flower

The what ifs is what's going to kill me

I say I miss you so much, you left me a broken record

They say that if i need to stay stuff to wait for the right time but when is the right time

Hamilton just reminds me of you and the love songs are stuff I want to say

Maybe I wasn't enough

Our baby died and you called me a liar, I act like it doesn't effect me but that baby meant the world even if I didn't know until after

You've turned into someone I don't know and I still want you

Let me be part of your story

I was always told never beg for a boy but baby you're not just some boy, you're my world

I never wanted to lose you

I want to say so many things but I realized that you don't care to hear about it

Maybe I'm not as important as I think I am


The author's comments:

My boyfriend of a year and a half had broken up with me and I was so heartbroken and this was the aftermath. I wrote down everything I felt. During this time I also had a miscarriage and it just took its toll.


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