January 24, 2018
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Outside the wind whistles a soft song
The grass and trees wave to each other
The sun smiles it's warm rays
The stone basks in the warm glow
The animals are out and about
Some fly
Some walk
Some crawl
Some swim
They are all wild and free
Out in the free and open world
Listening to the song of the wind
And in here I sit
By only a pane of glass
So close
Yet so far
From the freedom out there
Where the wind sings nature's song
Where the birds soar upon the song
Where fish swim in the earth's blood
That is what I tell myself
To hide the truth behind a lie
It is not the glass
That is deterring me
I say I am but a prisoner
A prisoner to these walls
To these lonely empty halls
Full of living people
Yet I tend to feel alone
I see that it is not these walls
These halls
Or the people
That keep me from being free
Like the deer and rabbits in the protecting woods
Or the ancient wolves who ran for many miles
Or like the many creatures of the sea
It is truly in fact myself
The blame can go to no one else
Because although I can see through the glass
And I can escape the cold wall
And I can exit the halls
I am not a prisoner
A prisoner to these things
That are created by man
I am in fact a prisoner to something else
I realize that where I sit is dark
That where I am really stuck is cold
It is a place that no one but me can enter
It is in myself I am hostage
Deterred from being truly free
Free like the wind who runs where it wants
Free like the sun smiling bright
Free like the trees and the grass waving to each other
I long to be free
Like the creatures in the sea
Like the birds soaring on the breath of wind
Like the little insects living day by day
However I can’t be free
Until I break these chains
That bind me
To hate
To anger
To pain
To self pity
I am sitting and ruminating about something I did
Some mistake that I have made
And the chains tighten
They pull me further into the dark
Like the changing of day
I can normally cope
Deal and move on
This time is different
I can’t escape
Bound by guilt
For pain I caused
I tell myself that the path ahead is unknown
That what is old can be renewed
Like life in the spring
This mistake could be forgotten
Then as if it were spring
I could start anew
But then the anger sets
And the guilt follows suit
Together they evelope me
Taking me in their arms
And I pull and struggle
And the chains hold...
...I want to just sit and look out
Through the pane of glass
Past the cold walls
Along the lonely halls
And bath in the light of freedom
But instead I remain a prisoner
To my solitary imprisoning mind
I will look for the strength to break free
To break these binding chains
Only by beating these monsters
Of anger
Of guilt
Of pain
Only then can I too
Hear the song of the wind
And I too can wave to the grass and trees
Swim like the fish
Run like the deer and rabbits
Fly on the singing wind
I look forward to the day
When I can bask in the sunlight of freedom
When I break out of this prison I created
Where I torture myself
Over what things could have been
Where I do not see what could come
I will break these chains

I must
Break these chains
That hold me prisoner
Within my own mind

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