you think you know me

January 16, 2018

You say you know me
Oh, how say you know me
But you've only seen my skin,
Needless to say I don't think i agree
Because sweetheart there is such a greater pain within:
The soreness that cascades down my body,
The breaths that I can barely keep steady,
The creeks in my spine when i get up in the morning.
The ones who think they know me-
Have only seen my bruises-my papercuts-my sunburns,
But oh dear, there is such greater pain within.
You have not seen yet seen the demons inside-
holding matches and praying for a gas leak.
You think you know me
But you haven't climbed my branches,
nor seen my spreading roots struggling to flee.
you don't know that your footsteps are embedded so deep within me.
  You think you know me
Because you've heard my name.
You judge me solely from what youve seen in my feed-
And you assume that’s enough to disrupt my peace.
Can you see my struggle?
The agony, the annoyance, the aching-
Everytime i force a smile.
Reading me isn't easy.
I have many faces that i hide behind.
Each day waking up, picking out the mask i'm going to wear for the day-
Sometimes leaving it to slip from all the tears-
Letting you see a glimpse of the dark, dark world inside.
I keep so much pain inside myself
I grasp all my anger and hold it tight to my chest.
A flash of rage and I see red
With thought of violence in my head.

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