i. the trauma
You had heard about love before.
Everybody made it out to be
You don't believe in it.
Not after what he did to you.
love was a social construct -
a false prophet spewing
lies and bullshit.
It was a man who thought he was god ;
Love wasn't anything but a fever dream
that everybody blindly believes in
You know this for a fact
You know you're right
You have to be.
ii. the meeting
You still don't believe in love -
But you met this boy.
His hair glows like fire embers
and his eyes look like the coffee you drink every morning.
He's the complete opposite of you
He's candy hearts and sunflowers
He's the human embodiment of sunshine, happiness, lov--
And you're bloody knuckles
broken glass, a bottle of pills
You're full of hatred and anger
while he's full of sympathy
You still don't believe in love, but he makes you want to
iii. the fall
Even though love is a social construct
even though it doesn't exist,
it's still fun to act like you believe in it,
But his sugar covered hands and strawberry lips -
You can't think of any other word
You don't want to “love” him
and you don't want him to “love” you
Wolves and rabbits don't mix
“I'll hurt you,”
You can't say no
especially when he puts his hands on your face
When he puts his marshmallow hands on your face made of fire
You can feel him melting
He can feel it too
You can't say no when he's
melting in front of you
and telling you he's not afraid of you
You can't say no
iv. the love
You still have to punch yourself sometimes
It's hard to believe that this is real.
that someone as sweet,
as holy as him
would dare to even breath in your scent
Would dare to kiss your sharp edges
and not care about the papercuts
Would dare to look you in the eyes
when you’ve got hands of fire
and words that hit like bullets
and say “I love you”
You still don't know if you believe in love
but if this is what love
actually is -
If love is swallowing blood of gold,
bathing in the light of another divine being,
licking sugar off of cold fingers,
If love is him
Maybe you could pretend.