i. the trauma

You had heard about love before.

Everybody made it out to be
this wonderful,
stunning thing.

Big whoop.

You don't believe in it.

Not after what he did to you.
love was a social construct -
an idea
a false prophet spewing
lies and bullshit.

It was a man who thought he was god ;
Love wasn't anything but a fever dream
that everybody blindly believes in

You know this for a fact
You know you're right
You have to be.

ii. the meeting

You still don't believe in love -
of course

But you met this boy.

His hair glows like fire embers
and his eyes look like the coffee you drink every morning.

He's the complete opposite of you

He's candy hearts and sunflowers
He's the human embodiment of sunshine, happiness, lov--

And you're bloody knuckles
broken glass, a bottle of pills

You're full of hatred and anger
while he's full of sympathy

You still don't believe in love, but he makes you want to

iii. the fall

Even though love is a social construct
even though it doesn't exist,

it's still fun to act like you believe in it,
right?

You don't.
Definitely not.

But his sugar covered hands and strawberry lips -
You can't think of any other word

You don't want to “love” him
and you don't want him to “love” you

Wolves and rabbits don't mix

“I'll hurt you,”

You can't say no
especially when he puts his hands on your face

When he puts his marshmallow hands on your face made of fire

You can feel him melting

He can feel it too

You can't say no when he's
melting in front of you
and telling you he's not afraid of you

You can't say no

iv. the love

You still have to punch yourself sometimes

It's hard to believe that this is real.
that someone as sweet,
as pure,
as holy as him
would dare to even breath in your scent

Would dare to kiss your sharp edges
and not care about the papercuts

Would dare to look you in the eyes
when you’ve got hands of fire
and words that hit like bullets
and say “I love you”

You still don't know if you believe in love
but if this is what love
actually is -

If love is swallowing blood of gold,
bathing in the light of another divine being,
licking sugar off of cold fingers,

If love is him

Maybe you could pretend.