I’m running a race
I’m not really sure what I’m against but I don’t think I’ll ever outrun it
a 24 hour dead sprint
I’m falling behind and every time I finally catch up it shoots out in front of me again
I stopped taking breaks cause I thought it would help me go farther
get wherever I’m going faster
and I guess somewhere along the line
I became an insomniac
stuck in the race but it’s been so long that I’m not even sure what I’m racing for anymore
is anyone keeping score anymore
all of the pages and faces
daily kaleidoscope of information
it’s all coming at me
every second
every color of the rainbow
but too many colors and it’ll all turn black you know
when the day goes dark
when my body can finally rest
my head can’t
my mind is its own insomniac
can’t reel it back in
cause the world keeps turning and I gotta keep turning with it
gotta stay ahead of it
laying out situations
that’ll never be more than figments of my imagination
all these decisions
more like blind intuitions
through 10 feet of haze
it’s like I’m a living breathing hail mary throw
but what’s the point of a hail mary if you don’t even know what you’re aiming for
I tell myself to keep running
tell myself I’m fine
but my biggest fear is that I’ll finish the race and there will be nothing at the finish line
will there ever be a moment of clarity
will my mind ever fall asleep
can anyone guarantee cause
this race is insanity
I’m done with inanities
can’t take this
mundanity
inhumanity
insanity
everything needs to slow down
the race needs to slow down
slow down
slow
down
until then
I remain
the insomniac
see you at the finish line