January 11, 2018
If everyone saw your biggest weakness what would it be? Spiders? Heights? Maybe roller coasters? Or would they see fear of being alone or fear of drowning in an ocean when everyone else can swim? They would see being alive written across my forehead in black sharpie. Because if everyone leaves you to die then what’s the point of living on to see the light? Let me tell you what’s it like to be trapped in a room where every door is wide open but you can’t step through. Let me explain to you what it feels like to wake up and pray to God that you were dead. Praying for a sign that death is near because nothing else matters anymore. How do I explain depression to someone who thinks I’m fine? How do I tell my best friend that I’m broken on the inside and have nothing left? How do I tell my parents I need someone to talk to because if I don’t get help soon I’m going to end up dead tomorrow? How do I explain to someone that I need to be dead? My biggest fear isn’t spiders or heights it’s being left to rot with my thoughts, being forgotten in a crowded room, falling and having no one to catch me, and waking up alive

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