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Ripples in my Mind
Every stone makes its own ripple.
My first stone was tossed in 3rd grade.
My first "smart kid" class, the first time they told me I could be something special.
And so I became myself, that one girl who always outdoes herself, the one who always finds her way to the top.
But high school is a different story, and suddenly, I don't stand out anymore.
All at once, I need to prove myself.
So I load up with all the classes and sports and teams, something, anything, that will show them that I still stand out.
I need them to remember that I'm still here; I still matter.
It's hard, it's crushing, and they're not noticing.
I suddenly go numb.
I can't care any more; the pressure's so intense it's as if it's no longer there.
I'm stuck in a cycle of anxiety and late nights, trying to fill expectations that didn't need to exist.
The stones keep falling, flying, hitting me
Rippling everywhere, bouncing off each other
I take a breath but its just ripples, ripples, ripples.
Ripples all over my mind.