Ripples in my Mind

January 10, 2018
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Every stone makes its own ripple.

My first stone was tossed in 3rd grade.

My first "smart kid" class, the first time they told me I could be something special.

And so I became myself, that one girl who always outdoes herself, the one who always finds her way to the top.

But high school is a different story, and suddenly, I don't stand out anymore. 


Another stone. 

All at once, I need to prove myself. 

So I load up with all the classes and sports and teams, something, anything, that will show them that I still stand out.

I need them to remember that I'm still here; I still matter.

It's hard, it's crushing, and they're not noticing.


Another stone.

I suddenly go numb. 

I can't care any more; the pressure's so intense it's as if it's no longer there. 

I'm stuck in a cycle of anxiety and late nights, trying to fill expectations that didn't need to exist. 


The stones keep falling, flying, hitting me

Rippling everywhere, bouncing off each other

I take a breath but its just ripples, ripples, ripples.

Ripples all over my mind.

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