15
I was running from myself,
From a fear I created
I wasn’t ready to face the truth
So I ran
I was crumbling in on myself
My consciousness was blurred by my tears
My voice was silenced by the screaming world,
The world that swirled around me, oblivious to the pain inside of me
So I ran.
I told myself it was a phase
I told myself I would get over him.
But I never did.
So I ran.
He was killing me
But transforming me too
He gave me pain,
Pain that would create the happiest moments
But I didn’t know that yet
So I ran.
I ran when I was fifteen.
***
16
I ran to edge
In the moments before the end, I stopped
I fell and skidded toward the edge
I knew it was too late
So I closed my eyes and cried
But I did not fall
I looked out beyond the cliff
I had one final chance
With one step I could take it all away
No more pain, no more struggle, no more crying
I looked to heaven, I thought of my family, my friends
I thought of him and smiled through the tears
In one moment
In one realization
I used every last bit of energy I had left
My broken soul was beating fast
With every last piece intact
I backed away
I turned around
And started my march back to sanity
I returned to myself
When I was sixteen