January 8, 2018

Every day I wake up and try to remember my name
Everyday i open my eyes just to shut them and wish this world away
Everyday i wake up and i wonder and say
When will these days feel real
Just trying to breath
Just trying to live
Just trying to keep my mind alive
Its cold
And dark
And I am unable to see a light
I try
To smile
But the pain comes out through my eyes instead
Flowing down
Over my face
Reminds me of a different way my pain runs out
I don't
Know how
To keep myself alive
I try
To kill
My mind and not my body
But somehow
The only thing that wants to be gone
Is my soul
Not my thoughts
I don't want to think anymore
It’s too much
Not enough
Too big
But too small
Too loud
Yet so quiet
Nothing feels right
Nothing feels real
I try to escape
From the voices in my head
Telling me
It's time to give up
It's never getting better
It's never going away
I want to run
Far away
Where you cannot hurt me
But it's not you
It's me
My head
My mind
It's all inside
That doesn't make it any less real
Because sometimes
What you can’t see
Is the only thing you know is real

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