If you're watching me

December 26, 2017
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Sometimes you cross my mind
just like the street
that took your life.
I think about the way
my back became a target
for your knife
and now I realize in the end
it was my fault
for blaming you
for all of the things that
I allowed others
to do
and I guess I want to say
that I’m sorry
for it all
I think about you when
my walking
turns into a crawl
and once again I know
I could’ve helped things
in the end,
but at the time
bitterness became
my only friend.
I think of you in most things
that occupy
my days
but usually I stumble
with my headspace
in a haze
I think the fact that
we could have mended
makes this most cruel
I wish we could have
met again when
I went to school.
I wish that I could go back
and change actions
and the time
because now all you do
is occupy
my mind.

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