i sit in the scorching water for as long as possible in hopes that it will wash away all of the sorrow that has infested my body
but god damn it
there is no level of heat short of that which would melt off my skin that could save me from the pain caused by unavoidable trauma

i soak until my skin becomes an unrecognizable material which is void of all hydration because i learned in kindergarten that hot water kills all bacteria
however
it has become apparent that there are certain particles which never leave, such as my own dna and that of others which has been sewn into my body

but the fog that lies within my skull prevents my limbs from moving upwards to the edge of the tub that i am now crouched in
until the day transforms to crystal
i will remain unable to move, disabled by a mess of unwanted thoughts which come from part of my brain i wish i could erase

i am trying to put an end to that dull pain felt with each beat of my heart and every movement of my body
but it is no use
it seems there is in fact a point at which the past cannot be rewritten into something more desirable

i was taught that every mistake can be corrected as long as one can find a big enough eraser
but
i was not made aware of the fact that a person cannot erase others’ mistakes no matter how horribly they are effected

i have folded myself in every way possible to fit the mold of a tub which was not designed to allow a person of my stature to slowly sink in all my sorrow
simply put
there is no point in attempting to rid the world of my undoubtedly detrimental presence although that is all i long for