Love Addiction

December 29, 2017
By Anonymous

I am addicted to the idea of love
The idea of someone else loving me
I fantasize about others liking me, admiring me, validating me
Because deep inside of me there lies an inner demon
An inner demon that is so starved of affection
That it desperately looks externally for any source of confirmation
When I am alone, this inner demon comes out
It twists its slimy, needle-like claws and clings on for dear life
By filling my head with its constant words of insecurity
I am so terrified of this demon that I surround myself with people
People who have made it so obvious they do not care about me
But I would rather spend time with them
Than have to be in the company of myself
Than have to come face to face with my worst enemy-
Myself


The author's comments:

I have been going through a rough time in my life and finally have realized the true extent of how much I seek external validation to try and soothe an inner void, an inner demon. In the past, I would rather have spent time with others who don't truly care about me than have to spend time with myself. I needed others to validate my own self worth, and I had no true identity. I constantly fantasized about someone coming to save me, someone to take away all my problems. But this sense of an inner void can only be filled by one person: myself.


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