Not Fucked Up

December 28, 2017
By loving.gracie BRONZE, Mount Horeb, Wisconsin
loving.gracie BRONZE, Mount Horeb, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

“I was the stain in a place we
couldn’t fix.”

for some reason,
I just was too much it seemed.

I just had “too” many problems
and too little time.
the only people that would love me,
would already be f***ed up themselves

or use me because,
I was so vulnerable.

sadly the only way guys view me is as
easy.
I’m just someone who can fulfill their needs 

I hear them in my head, their screams echo and take over.

gracie you’re so . . .
“easy”
“sl**ty”
“unworthy”
but also,

“disgusting.”

I was the hurricane, you were
a tree
you were the antidepressants,
I was the mouth that refused to
take them.

but then one day,

I knew something about myself,
I can be loved.

I can make anyone smile like a flower in
the sun,

maybe I can’t be loved right now.

I am just learning to love myself

I cannot and will not love someone completely
until I fall into
love with myself.

to my future lover, who has a
completed female waiting
for them,

me.

I am not f***ed up. I am no stain
I am worthy of intimacy
deserving of love,

maybe


The author's comments:

Shaughnessy, Brenda. “Dress Form.” So Much Synth, Copper Canyon Press, 2016, P. 21 - 22.


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