State of Oblivion

December 20, 2017

The waking moment that my eyes feel
Brings me relief.
I woke up, and that’s all I ask for,
But waking in the morning
Brings me my greatest fear,

I see through my own eyes.
I feel with my own hands.
I think with my own mind.
But what happens when those things are
No longer to be used.

I don’t know when my waking moments
Are up.

I could die in a car accident.
I could die in a freak accident.
I could die by drowning.
I could die by suicide or homicide.

I don’t know.

I could die as an old woman.

I don’t want to end any of those ways.
I don’t want to know when my time will come.

I want to know that my life was not pointless.
Pushing itself onward
Just to arrive at its final destination
With nothing more to think about.

My waking moments are limited
But lived as though they are limitless.
Oblivion brings fear, but also life.

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