This is the year

This is the year I told you I loved you.
We were in my room, laying down over my blue flower pattern comforter,
We were just talking about life, all the possibilities
what we wanted to do this school year and beyond.
You told me you wanted a family with someone that means so much to you
You told me that you wanted to be an accountant, how ridiculous is that?
I remember laughing at you and you kicked me for laughing.
You hate math, I told him.
Yes I do, but they make good money. I want to support my future and current family. He said
He looked at me with his lopsided smile as he leaned forward to kiss me.
You licked your lips before resting your lips on mine.
You pulled away, opened your eyes and licked my cheek.
It made me laugh out loud, before I pushed you off my bed.
In between laughs I told you I loved you.
You heard it, I know you did.
I watched your face change as soon as the words left my mouth.
I kept laughing though. Pretending I meant it in the friend way
Saying I love you in the joking matter we always use.
You told me you loved me once, but it was because I was your best friend.
Now I’m not even that.
I’m someone you pretend you don’t see in the hallways.
This was the year I told you I loved you
But you never said it back, or said anything to me again