He tossed my bag of bones around until they all crumbled
I now perceive myself in infinite hues of hatred
Thoughts of being fragile have turned to thoughts of weakness
I am weak
Not strong enough to fight back
I just sweep his torture under the carpet
Convincing myself there is a good person inside of the devil
Even though he strips me of emotion when he rips off my clothes
I am immobilized
Detached from life itself
I have no appetite to feel
Because feeling would only mean what is happening to me is real
when I want it to be make believe
I do not want to acknowledge what he does to my body and how deceiving the rumination leaves me
Shower water runs over my skin, purifying
But no matter how hard I try I cannot cleanse my internal filth
I scrub until my irritated skin is begging me to stop
and I fall to the floor wondering where did I go
Because when I look in the mirror
it reflects a sad story
One I can no longer bare to see
I am insignificant
Yet picking myself up on my own two feet,
I carry my frail body to the pill cabinet
and emerge myself into escape
choosing the easy was out
the quickest relief
I surrender