Hi, I'm Ana | Teen Ink

Hi, I'm Ana

December 19, 2017
By HRF414 BRONZE, Mill Hall, Pennsylvania
HRF414 BRONZE, Mill Hall, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All it takes is a beautiful fake smile to hide an injured soul and they will never notice how broken you really are." -Robin Williams


Hi, I’m Ana.  How are you?

I have a feeling we’re goin’ to be great friends, But, you can’t tell anyone.
They’ll make you lose me, you’re one real friend.
They’re just being fake to save your feelings, they don’t like you. But, I love you.
What the hell are you doing?
That has so many empty calories.

Hey, what are you up to?
Let’s get on the scale. It’ll be great.
Yep ------ just like I thought.
Maybe it’s wrong, step on again.
Nope. It’s right. Don’t you see…
Your thunder thighs? your flabby arms, and your worse part -- your corpulent stomach.
You're impulsive to anyone who sees you.
You’re not good enough for him, or them, matter of fact, for anyone.

Look at her; She’s the pretty girl with her friends.
Do you see her waist? Now look at yours?
You’re disgusting. A disgrace. You will never accomplish anything! 
Unless, you’re pretty… I can help with that.

Do you feel that?
It hurts a little now, but it won’t soon. I promise!
Let’s go run. It’ll make it all feel better in the end. It’s just tough love my piggy.

Look at you! You lost no weight at all.
You’re still just a rotund and revolting girl.
You don’t deserve that, don’t touch it. You can’t eat those either; it’s after 9 now.
Scale time, there you go! Look at that. Didn’t I say it would feel good?
Wait. No. Don’t. You fool!
Stop listening to them you aren’t too thin, you’re just starting to get pretty.
They’re over exaggerating, look at you now. 
Look at that waist, just a little more.
You can’t leave the house. They will know what you’re doing, shh just fake eating.
You’re stomach will hurt after you eat anyway, or you’ll just throw it up.
If you go they’ll only make you eat. Why are you listening to them?!
Eating makes you fat, you compulsive idiot. 

Why aren’t you listening to me? I’m just trying to help! You’re gaining weight.
Stop listening to them. Your family doesn’t care, that’s why you’re in this home.
You’re hurting me you hippo, stop. 


I’ll never fully leave. I will always be here. You’ll come running back, they always do.
Stop eating. You idiot! Don’t you see?

Look at you. Went from 00 to a 5.
Do you see how fat you are? How are you happy?
Ah ha, you still want me. You see the ugliness in your body.

Hi, I’m Ana. How are you?


The author's comments:

I had a poetry competition coming up, I was stuck on what to write about. My mom and a supportive teacher told me to dig deep and write about what I know, how I feel. I thought about what I was struggling with right then and there, here we are. I didn't place but I was finally able to put what I'm going through into words, that has helped my recovery process.  I'm hoping this may help family and friends of current people (especially young teens) that are going through eating disorders. It is a hard battle against yourself, but if we let people know what we are thinking and feeling, we can get the right help we need. I hope this helped!


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