December 14, 2017
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The doctors surround us,
talking frantically, preparing
gathering, staring, discussing
as I lay there, legs apart.

I always thought
everyone lives the same life,
climbing the same mountain.
Everyone goes to school,
gets a job,
falls in love,
gets married and has many kids,
and then everyone passes on
to heaven.

I was oblivious to those who lived in the valleys.

Who knew my mountain hid a large
long valley beyond the lulling winds of the lengths
I had climbed for the past 8 years.
But no more,
I was finally climbing again
across the valley walls,
back to where I'd left life off.

Cold air rushes up my gown,
the doctors settle around me
making space for themselves, each in their own corner
some holding steel tools, the others
just reaching their gloved hands at me.
Its time.

The doctors say you're a strong one,
a little mad at mommy
after the wait she put you through.
But I know you wont harm me,
or rather I want to be oblivious again.

For 8 years I missed you,
for 8 years I prepared to greet you,
to hold you, to sing to you, to become lost
in those mesmerizing eyes you might have like your father,
to kiss you goodnight,
to fall asleep next to your running heart beats,
and to get to show off my beautiful creation
to every nancy, katy, and susan out there
who thinks their child is the best.

Through my screeches and thrashing,
through my pain and numbness,
through my sweat and tears
amidst the doctors smiling down on us,
you came into this world.
My vision blurred,
with happiness I thought,
I closed my eyes and reached out my arms
not to try and climb out of my valley anymore
but to hold my prize for reaching my mountain.

Someone placed you into my arms,
a small weight,
that took the weight of the world off my shoulders.
Never had a breath seemed so easy to take,
never had my hands felt more steady,
never had my heartbeats felt more calm.

I could hear Mike calling my name.
His voice soothing even when high pitched.
But I remained motionless,
maybe paralyzed, due to this moment of happiness I thought.
I was never this calm,
I felt the small weight in my arms disappear,
startling my serene heart.
Then it was still
silent and still.
The breeze atop my mountain left me
breathless at the euphoria of standing at its peak,
motionless at the edge of the land that was vanishing under my feet,
lifeless as I tumbled down the cliff in utter bliss and peace,
but thankfully not childless, as I left this world in solace.

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