I was young and naive,
My little soul oblivious.
Eight full years,
Me against the world.
On father’s shoulders surrounded by mother’s warmth
Ending because of something unfathomable,
Something I could not comprehend within my tiny head.
I was frightened and I told, despite his threats,
Mother was infuriated,
Father got the slick, shiny “L”.
The pistol.
I didn’t understand;
Why don’t they love me?
Father would have killed him, if not for his mother
My childhood stolen, replaced by the memory entangled in me,
Like a rusty chain around my mind.
Only if it was around my neck instead.
Searching and searching
For true love on my degraded heart.
The man I married did not know ‘till years later.
He considered himself cheated ‘cause I was not “pure,”
And the people I thought I knew agreed.
Why don’t they love me?
He denigrated me. deserted me.
Just like everyone else; leaving me unloved,
Yearning for a love that I was destined to never receive;
The only thing I solely wanted.
The loneliness was unbearable,
Causing my death the following winter,
Restless and still I lay, Pondering:
Why didn’t they love me?