Finding Home

December 18, 2017
By Anonymous

“There is something about myself
That I do not quite believe in.”
I knew that saying those words
Would mean nothing, to no one
Accustomed to deaf ears, I spoke
Quietly. Unaccustomed to the bond,
I was surprised to receive any response.

That I did not have to believe in myself-
Only to believe in those who believed in me.
That others do not really matter, as I am
The main character of my own life story.
That I cannot win if I do not fight,
That a road is something I make myself,
That no one can judge how beautiful I am
Just by the way I look, that I have my own
Invisible, wonderful, eternal strength.

If I hesitate, I will be reminded that

It is better to take action, even at the risk
Of making a mistake, which is better
Than failing without trying. If I regret, then
Rather than remembering the disappointment,
I will remember the lesson, and it’s okay,
Because if I only ever face forward,
There is something that I will miss seeing.

If I feel as though this world is far too painful,

Then I am reminded that this world is cruel,
But also very beautiful. Beautiful because
Even though it is not perfect, it is there.
If I feel as though I am too alone,
I am reminded that we are one family,
That we walk together in order to live

A stronger life. If this turns into fear,
That I will one day be alone, too far away,                               An embrace pulls me closer, and tells me

That we are all fireworks, climbing, shining,
Going our separate ways, always further apart,
But never disappearing, shining forever.
That whatever I lose, I will find again, though
I will never recover what I have thrown away,

And it is impossible to throw each other away
Here, under this endless enclosed sky.
I am not assured easily, too afraid to lose,
To be lost, or perhaps to lose myself.
The smile quirks, offering the truth

That I can gain nothing without giving
Something in return, though once
I have made it mine again, I will have
An irreplaceable Fullmetal heart.
That I shine beautifully, as the best
Burn brightest under the worst
Of circumstances. We laugh, together,

Nostalgia taking a turn carrying the weight
That I have so long borne, letting me smile
Walk arm in arm, a secret language
Known by hundreds, but whispered
Between us, as we come together, to find
Truths, joys, and friends, only for us
Comfort and inspiration exclusive
To our amazing otaku community.

The author's comments:

I've struggled with depression for a while, and becoming a part of the otaku (anime) community has helped me immensely. People ask me all the time what I get from anime, how it's productive for me, what it's taught me- all of which are difficult questions to answer. This poem is my reply. 

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