It is vexing how fast the feeling of one’s heartbeat, bursting though a fluttering chest, can fall from its altitude,
once floating among the truffle of clouds and the radiant sun and the crisp sky
beaming down, bright eyes
Darken.

Clouds huddle together and suddenly the sun is overcast by the gathering storm threatening to be unleashed.
Heavy rain clutching along the bottom of the gloom above, thundering, threatening to let go.
A heartbeat increases, a breath hitches.
Words clot at the back of my throat, choking me with a silence no longer due to infatuation, but regret
that it happened, that I let it happen.
My mind permanently tainted with memories of the boy who deemed infidelity acceptable, betrayal insignificant.
And now, past humiliations break through a dam hastily scrapped together, flood my mind with heavy recollections.
There is a frantic search for escape, but to no avail.
I come face to face with the mask I once studied so intently.
But with another glance, there is clarity
and a stark contrast from what still lingered

in the depths of my memories.

I struggle to determine which was my bigger mistake:

being with him, or allowing the rain to fall.